May I rant?
“Sex & Love Around the World” is a documentary on love and sex by the award-winning journalist, Christiane Amanpour. It premieres this coming Saturday on CNN.
Like she said in an interview, “From Berlin to Beirut, Tokyo to New Delhi, Accra to Shanghai, everywhere I looked I found people seeking — and craving — love, intimacy and sexual fulfillment. My quest took me to women and girls, who we so often dismiss as only victims of our patriarchal, misogynistic, hypersexualized culture, who were boldly seizing every opportunity for satisfaction and personal pleasure. I also found their evil downside: sexless marriages, industrial-scale infidelity, and loneliness.”
Go to the page on the CNN website that has been created for the documentary. One sees the thumbnails and can watch clips of the different episodes she shot around the world. Now compare the themes she addressed in Ghana versus other places outside the African continent.
It is rather evident that in Ghana, she chose to address negative themes like polygamy and infidelity.
In Lebanon she addresses divorce, she looks at love and intimacy among Arab refugees, she tackles transgender issues in India, in Japan she touches on the meaning of phrases like “Thank You” and “I love you”… but in Ghana, she grabs onto infidelity.
Now, why would she do that?
It is not like Ghana is the only place in the world afflicted with the scourge of infidelity or we have the most polygamous relationships. I can think of three countries in Asia and two in Africa that are way ahead of us in that category.
I have an inkling as to why.
It is the reason “National Geographic” apologized to people of color people a few weeks ago. It is the reason why we Africans are always depicted as irrational buffoons without an iota of character wallowing in the pits of our shitholes.
It is because, in her eyes, we Africans do not know love and sex for us is just a barbaric affair of taking the opposite sex. So why would she waste her time discussing things like “The rising and confident African feminists” or “Juggling sex, family and work in Ghana”.
No! That would be too human for us apes!
What do we know about love anyway?
So in Ghana, she looked for the “…evil downside: sexless marriages, industrial-scale infidelity, and loneliness.”
I do not blame her though.
I blame a continent that cannot tell its own story and has the myths and traditions of other places foisted on it.
Yet, we have such a rich story to tell – of pain, glory, defeat, perseverance, betrayal, yes, love, sex, polygamy, and death. We have it all.
Come this weekend, Ms. Amanpour is going to show the world a young Ghanaian lady telling everyone how she sleeps with married men for money. Or the older woman talking about sharing her husband. Or the man worried about keeping his wife if he goes broke.
Ms. Amanpour will paint Ghana with the colors of infidelity, polygamy, and deceit. And the world will gasp and have their misgivings about those shitholers confirmed. She may even win awards.
Through all that, no one will hear of the three young ladies who recently made it to Ivy League schools from Ghana, the young women building their own businesses, those fighting for equality for women, those dying from childbirth, those working hard to take kids through school.
No one will hear those stories. Of their love and sex lives. Then, you see, that will make us human, give us character and defeat the narrative. Now, who wants that?
Well, we do! We Ghanaians do! We Africans do!
Yet I do not despair. Such lopsided reportages will only help harden our resolve on this dark continent that is time. Time to make and tell our story with the nuances only a life nourished by a spirit birthed from pain, joy, hope and resolve allows. Nuances that are baked in the sun that burns brightly over the Equator. It is time!
I have been following this issue quite extensively and reading your rant brings an interesting perspective.
But after watching the trailer on the woman in a polygamous marriage I feel Amampour’s topic is not a deliberate attempt to put Africa, and in this regard Ghana, in a negative light.
our society is still caught in two dimensions. it is a fact that we still do practice polygamous marriage, which is our traditional prescription to relationship, sex and procreation, and we also do practice the monogamous relationships, which have been adopted from our christian religion and adopted from the west.
I have always held the view that the clashing of these two ways of marriage is a contributing factor to the issues of infidelity we experience in our society. We have an inherent social norm that is at locker-heads with an adopted social norm.
I think it is interesting that she is exploring this and shedding some light on it. And I think it will be helpful to view the full documentary and see what the conclusions will be before we pass judgement.
If infidelity is what Ms. Amanpour wants to discuss, Ghana is not the only place in the world with that problem. Is the culture of polygamy the reason for infidelity in Ghana? It might play a role but the overriding reason will be why some men.. and women too…have through the ages, been unable to be faithful; the “Clinton” reason like I call it – because they can!
It is interesting following the ” RANT” the reality is these “documentaries” are truths.
Question 1:How many young women have been “obliged” to go into such relationships because of the absence of “Institutionalised” social welfare and other Systems that ensure people have a roof over their head/education/health etc
2. Please Nana write about the Ivy League ladies.. There are some who need to hear this to know they can break out
3. There will always be the women and men whose definition of “Business assets” Start and sometimes end With their “bodies”
4. It would be interesting also to know the unspoken objektive of the “granters of the Interview”
I agree with you. This things exist and we those with sociology background, watch the social space with mixed feelings. Some societies in Ghana see polygamous relationships as foreign. Influence of western culture has burdened our society and there seems to be no rescue in sight.
Amanpour’s story is based on research of personal stories of polygamy, Sugar-Daddy syndrome , the perception of men as breadwinners and women as dependants. That is truthful of our society. Feminism is severely frownwed upon in Ghana, not glorified. Lets face reality.
Your use of the word “feminism” has less to do with advocacy for women’s rights and more to do with how women are treated…it seems. Add that to your sentiment that love and sex in Ghana is just an amalgamation of polygamy, Sugar-Daddy syndrome and the perception of men as breadwinners and women as defendants, is it fair to say that you think women in Ghana lead a sexless and loveless life? Did certain women in Ghana influence Amampour to push this narrative?
I am happy you said perception but the hard reality is that most homes in Ghana are run and manned by women. Ask Uncle Ebow Whyte for the statistics. A few odd nuts cannot become the norm. We need to tell our own story.
Excellent piece
Foreign journalist rarely portray Africa in a positive light. The “sugar daddy” syndrome exists in the US as well as other advanced countries too, and so does polygamy.
It is about time we start calling out these foreign journalist for their discriminatory behavior.
Every country has its good and bad. Why do they focus on the good everywhere else and only on the bad in Africa? Its because we allow them to.